Category Archives: The Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Tournament

The Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Tournament is a beach bocce tournament played annually around the time of Mother’s Day, if possible. It is a tournament to capture the spirit of what Stephen Parker was all about…competitive, athletic, camaraderie, and fun.

Balls in the air for the 2014 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Tournament

2014 Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament Winners, Wieners, and Awards

The 2014 Stephen G. W. Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament was another nail biting ball busting bonanza of a competition.  The Wieners, and Award Winners have been declared, determined, and defined.  HELL NO! was NOT the cry this year as, “HELL, YES!”, the upstart newcomers, C’MON NOW! screamed in to the final with an undefeated record and took the perennial favorites, Hell No!, out on to the tidal flats where they were able to smoke them like a ripe discarded half-smoked half extinguished moistened filter cigarette carelessly discarded near a receptical feigning environmental concern.

Last year’s dominators led by perennial Hell No’er, EJ, came up through the ranks as expected bending, if not breaking, the Murphy Rule of out distancing the competition.  Thought the complaints were enumerable, Hell No! continued on their merry destruction on in to the final.  But, it was not to be as C’Mon Now! with heralded leader, Jackie Parker, took the match to the flats where her impeccable bowling skills proved no match for the big strong drunken tan rolls of solid muscle from Jax Beach.  The 4th Annual Tournament Championship drew little drama as the bashing was complete in a 14-2 romping of last year’s winners.  C’Mon Now! is declared the winner of the 2014 Tournament and proud owner of BEST BALLS ON THE BEACH!!! Well done to the mixed team of Jackie, David, AJ and Matt from Atlantic Beach.  The battle of the beaches is ON!  C’Mon, Now!!!

Hell No! headed by perennial champion baller, EJ, quietly succumbed to the massive ballers from Atlantic Beach who proved to be tremendously accurate at kissing the balls from great distance on the tidal flats which were fully low at the time of the final.  Once the pallino was relinquished, Hell, No! could not get back in to their favorite soft sand areas.  Though the loss was excruciatingly painful to Mr. EJ, he was found to be happily drowning his sorrows nearby at the beer stand within moments. Hell No! relinquished the coveted Best Balls on the Beach award certificate to C’Mon Now! but declared they will return in 2015 with more meat and better strategy in the finals.  C’Mon Now! received the award and a basket of mini-bottles of alcohol which they promptly consumed, but not before being crowned The Stephen GW Parker BBB Champs for 2014.

But, there were many other winners on the day, not to mention a plethora of fine Buddy Turner tastily toasted wieners being consumed. While the wieners were going down, we gave out the following prizes:

  • Longest Kiss – Jacob Parker who gently caressed his ball against the pallino through 55 feet of sheer pleasure.
  • Virgin Baller – Kathleen for her heroics as a first timer on the dismal Waltz Team.
  • Tightest Balls – Team Finkelicious for the tightest grouping of balls by a team around the pallino at a cluster of only 14 inches in diameter.
  • Master Blaster – Naomi Larrabee Smith was given the honor as many teams reported her continuing success at blasting things up at opportune, or maybe, inopportune times.
  • Money Shot – Jacob Parker again was awarded this coveted prize for specifically turning his game up to maximum caress for sheer pleasure on many occasions.
  • Juiciest Wiener – Harriet Turner once again exhibited her prowess in procuring the plumpest pile of peckers you ever placed on your palate as Buddy was more than happy to toast his tasty classics for your juiciest pleasure.
  • Sweetest Sack – Chris Parker arrived with a brand new carrying device which we deemed was aptly sack like though not traditionally so.  He was deemed to have the sweetest sack with her classic crate of balls from Stephen’s collection going old school.
  • Most Beaten – The Sand Goats managed to have the most beaten balls at the beach with no wins mustered.
  • Hell No! – this award, named after the famous line EJ received on the beach by some passing babes, is awarded to the biggest Crash and Burn player. Don Waltz took home the honors this year for having assembled such an abysmal group of Tossers.
  • Youngest Baller – Aiden Jones represented the youngest baller on the beach having played with his balls in nothing less than a prepubescent professional at 11 years of age.
  • Oldest Baller – No one can seem to supplant the elder statesman, David F. Parker, as he took home this honor yet again. We will have to recruit some guys from Fleet Landing or somewhere to usurp his status.
  • Sportsmanship – this is awarded to the person who exhibits true sportsmanship in the manner that our beloved Stephen GW Parker lived his whole life. This year’s award went to our Australian first-timer, Bonnie Wilks, who was visiting on her way to the northern reaches with her parents and long time Egyptian friends, Doug and Nikki Wils.  Stephen would have been highly approving of this award.
  • Best Ballers – C’MON NOW!!! Nice ball control!

Fun was had by all and all had fun. Look for more posts in the coming days and for photos to be coming soon.

Thanks to everyone who participated or came out to cheer on the participants. And, thanks to the Turners, one and all, for their gracious contributions.

The 2014 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Video

2014 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Start Video

In case you missed it, here is the 2014 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast video to introduce and get the Tournament started.  Enjoy it over and over again!!!

LIVE EVERY DAY – http://youtu.be/hiGo_sxnWxk

2014 BBBBA Tournament Logistics from your STOOGE

Welcome bocce fans to the fourth annual Beach Bocce Blast!  As your Supreme Tournament Overlord Of Gaming Excellence (S.T.O.O.G.E.) I ask that you please review these important details regarding game day logistics.  Contact Rob if you have any questions.

DATE: May 31, 2014.

CHECK IN: Mandatory check in for teams begins at noon and all teams must be checked in by 12:30 by their Team Captain.  We may not be able to schedule teams who do not check in on time so please be prompt! If you want to play but are not on a team, check in by noon and I will find you a team!  You must be present to check in.

KICK OFF MEETING: There will be a kick off meeting at 12:45 which is mandatory for all Team Captains and other players are encouraged to attend.  It will be at the tournament tent on the beach and games will commence after the meeting.

EVENT PREPARATION:  If you have not already done so please review the Bocce Blast Tournament Rules prior to the tournament and let me know if you have any questions or you feel anything needs clarification.  See link to rules on the website below:

http://www.thestephenfund.com/blog/?cat=3

Players are encouraged to bring the following on tournament day:

  • BOCCE BALL SET if you have one
  • Small tape measure or other measuring device
  • Coin for coin tosses
  • Extra sun screen (in case yours explodes on an opposing player)
  • Friends and family to cheer you on!
  • Food, beverages, coolers, etc. – Stay hydrated!
    • We’ll be enjoying hot dogs on the grill around 6PM and any contributions you want to make to the cookout (chips, slaw, potato salad, etc.) are appreciated! Try to let me know ahead of time what you plan to bring and THANK YOU!
    • BYOB and bring some for yourself too
  • Drums or other mobile musical instruments for the Hell No parade
  • Anything else for a fun day on beach!
    • If you bring beach blankets, chairs, etc. please don’t set up right in front of tournament tent as you may be bombarded with bocce balls…

SEE YOU AT THE BOCCE BLAST!

Rob Turner
S.T.O.O.G.E.

2014 Bocce Beach Blast Information

The Stephen Fund - Beach Bocce Blast Tournament

The 2014 Stephen G.W. Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast

DATE OF TOURNAMENT: May 31, 2014

Join us on sunny Jacksonville Beach for our 4th Annual Stephen G. W. Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast All-Terrain Bocce Tournament, that’s right, the SGWPMBBBATBT.

This is an ALL-TERRAIN bocce tournament so be prepared to play wherever you happen to place your balls, even if they may go to a location that may be detrimental to their overall health!  Get them sandy, get them wet, get them dinged up, toss them into a trashy hole…wheresoforth goeth the ball, thou goest.

Put your bocce ball blasting skills to the test in this casual competition open to all ages and levels of skill.  Enjoy a day of fun in the sun competing for the coveted title of “Biggest Balls on the Beach!!!” as well as many other awards.  Registration is open to anyone looking for friendly bocce competition and not afraid to get a little sand on your balls.

Note that this year the games may start in the afternoon to coincide with low tide and a feast to follow.  Logistics to be communicated to Team Captains before the event.  Get on a team or captain your own team before the event’s first toss-off.

ALL PLAYERS MUST REGISTER USING THE REGISTRATION FORM HERE

REGISTRATION DEADLINE IS MAY 28, 2014.

Not a bocce enthusiast? No problem! Come out to cheer on your favorite team and enjoy the beach. Fun for everyone!

Please contact Rob with any inquiries regarding the tourney.

Important Links:

Note: These docs are in MS Word. Contact Rob if you cannot open them.

Tired of being ridiculed by friends and neighbors for having no balls? Check out the bountiful bonanza of bocce ball bargains at http://www.buycheapr.com/us/result.jsp?ga=us3&q=buy+bocce+balls

SEE YOU AT THE TOURNAMENT!

Please help us help others. Donate to our fund, The Stephen Fund, by
PayPal:


Official PayPal Seal




OR by sending a check to the following:

The Stephen Fund
13846 Atlantic Boulevard
#402
Jacksonville, FL 32225

or call
904.992.9888

Email us at
info@thestephenfund.com
for more information.

2013 Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament Wieners and Awards

2013 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament Participants

2013 Stephen Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament Participants

The Stephen G. W. Parker Memorial Bocce Ball Beach Blast Tournament is over and the winners have been declared.  HELL NO!  was the cry, but “hell yes”, they won it all after a dismal effort in last year’s competition.  The team led by perennial Hell No’er, EJ, has come through to win the 3rd Annual tournament in dramatic fashion.  With one ball in hand and looking at a 25 foot shot up the dune into a blazing setting sun, the Hell No! team faced certain elimination to the upstart HB is FJ first timers.  But the shot was sound as the sand settled around the balls to reveal a placement within mere centimeters from the unsuspecting pallino.  HB is FJ had three balls to unseat the strategically placed four pound chunk of bakelite, but to no avail as Hell No! walked away with the honor of BEST BALLS ON THE BEACH!!!  Well done to the team from Jacksonville Beach.

HB is FJ, headed by perennial baller, Mike Remo, gave Hell No! their best match of the day, but fell in the final toss.  Though the loss was excruciatingly painful to Mr. Remo, he was found to be happily drowning his sorrows nearby at the beer stand within moments.  Hell No! claimed the coveted award certificate as well as a hand made coaster declaring them the Stephen Parker BBB Champs for 2013.  But, there were many other winners on the day.  We gave out the following prizes:

  • Longest Kiss – Marcus Turner who gently caressed his ball against the pallino through 68 feet of sheer pleasure.
  • Virgin Baller – Samantha for her heroics as a first timer on the finalist HB is FJ team.
  • Tightest Balls – Team Finkelicious for the tightest grouping of balls by a team around the pallino at a cluster of only 14 inches in diameter.
  • Master Blaster – Rainey Zimmerman was given the honor as many teams reported her continuing success at blasting things up at opportune, or maybe, inopportune times.
  • Money Shot – Rob Turner was awarded this coveted prize for specifically turning his semifinal game from a secure victory to a disastrous loss in two easy steps.
  • Juiciest Wiener – Harriet Turner once again exhibited her prowess in procuring the plumpest pile of peckers you ever placed on your palate.
  • Sweetest Sack – Cindy Z. Parker was deemed to have the sweetest sack with her classic crate of balls from Stephen’s collection going old school.
  • Most Beaten – Tumblehome Tossers managed to have the most beaten balls at the beach with no wins mustered.
  • Hell No! – this award, named after the famous line EJ received on the beach by some passing babes, is awarded to the biggest Crash and Burn player.  Darcy Curtin took home the honors for having assembled such an abysmal group of Tossers.
  • Youngest Baller – Andrew Finkel represented the youngest baller on the beach having played with his balls in a substitute roll nonetheless qualifying his young talents.
  • Oldest Baller – No one can seem to supplant the elder statesman, David F. Parker, as he took home this honor yet again.  We will have to recruit some guys from Fleet Landing or somewhere to usurp his status.
  • Sportsmanship – this is awarded to the person who exhibits true sportsmanship in the manner Stephen Parker lived his whole life.  This year’s award went to Izaak, Jacob’s young baller friend with the Sand Goats.
  • Best Ballers – HELL NO!!!  Nice ball control!

Fun was had by all and all had fun.  Look for more posts in the coming days and for photos to be coming soon.

Thanks to everyone who participated or came out to cheer on the participants.  And, thanks to the Turners, one and all, for their gracious contributions.

2012 BBBBA Tournament Wieners

•    Biggest Balls On The Beach (First Place)
Harriatrix – Harriet Turner, Buddy Turner,
David Parker Sr, Marilyn Parker
•    Hell No! (Last Place) – Donny Waltz
•    Oldest Balls (Oldest player) – David Parker Sr
•    Youngest Balls (Youngest Player) – Reide Zimmerman
•    Stephen GW Parker Sportsmanship Award – Austin
•    Master Blaster – Christine Finkel
•    Longest Kiss – Tim
•    Tightest Balls – Finkelicious Destructeurs
•    Juiciest Wieners – Harriet Turner

Don’t be a DUD, be a STUD!!!
Put your best balls out there
and win something SWEET!

2013 Beach Bocce Blast Information

The Stephen Fund - Beach Bocce Blast Tournament

The 2013 Stephen G.W. Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast

DATE OF TOURNAMENT:  June 1, 2013

Join us on sunny Jacksonville Beach for our 3rd Annual Stephen Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast Tournament.  This is an ALL-TERRAIN bocce tournament so be prepared to play wherever you have the balls to go!

Put your bocce ball blasting skills to the test in this casual competition open to all ages and levels of skill.  Enjoy a day of fun in the sun competing for the coveted title of “Biggest Balls on the Beach!” as well as many other awards worth millions on the open market.

Registration is open to anyone looking for friendly bocce competition.  Games typically begin in the late morning or whenever our hangovers subside enough for us to handle our balls.  Specific information will be communicated to Team Captains before the event’s first toss-off.

 REGISTRATION DEADLINE IS MAY 28, 2013.

SEE REGISTRATION LINKS BELOW AND SUBMIT YOUR REGISTRATION FORM

Not a bocce enthusiast?  No problem!  Come out to cheer on your favorite team and enjoy the beach.  Fun for everyone!

Please contact Rob with any inquiries regarding the tourney.

Important Links:

Note: These docs are in MS Word. Contact Rob if you cannot open them.

Tired of being ridiculed by friends and neighbors for having no balls? Check out the bountiful bonanza of bocce ball bargains at http://www.buycheapr.com/us/result.jsp?ga=us3&q=buy+bocce+balls

 SEE YOU AT THE TOURNAMENT!

Please help us help others. Donate to our fund, The Stephen Fund, by
PayPal:


Official PayPal Seal




OR by sending a check to the following:

The Stephen Fund

1739 Live Oak Lane

Atlantic Beach, FL 32233

or call

904.992.9888

Email us at
info@thestephenfund.com
for more information.

2013 Bocce Tournament Dates Set

The 2013 Stephen Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast Tournament dates have been set and the information is here.  Download the documents shown here to get your team signed up.

Download this form to register your team for the Stephen Parker Memorial Beach Bocce Blast.  Don’t delay, register TODAY!

Bocce Blast Registration Form

If you need information on the rules of the game…and OUR rules of the game, download them here.

Bocce Blast Tournament Rules